Episode #39:

How We Grow

You know those fun timelines of your child’s development that you get at the pediatrician’s office or see in books like “What to Expect in the First Year?”

They paint such a succinct, rosy picture of what your baby will be doing at 6 months (eating solids!), 12 months (first steps!), 2 years (welcome to the world of tantrums!)

They’re not a bad way of preparing for the years ahead, but unfortunately they give the impression that growth is this straightforward process where you move from a-z with no bumps in between.

What a lie.

The truth is –

GROWTH ISN’T LINEAR

This is true for developmental milestones (ask any family currently experiencing a sleep regression) and it’s true for social/emotional development.

Big leaps in growth typically come after big regressions.

So if your kid is all of a sudden having a lot of tantrums, it might mean there is a breakthrough in coping skills on the horizon.

And growth in one domain often has a big impact on other domains.

So if your six year old is learning to read, they might have a harder time dealing with small frustrations (like their little sister taking their toy) because their tolerance for stress is low.

Our brains only have so much energy!

On today’s “Good Enough Parenting” podcast, I share a different way of viewing growth – both our kids’ and our own.

Instead of seeing it as a straightforward timeline with a clear path, let’s imagine a spiral.

Every time we swing around the center, we get a little closer to where we’re headed and who we want to be – resilient, empathic, evolved humans.

Sometimes we take two steps forward and one step back – but we’re always making progress. And that’s good enough.